View photo
  • 2 days ago
  • 24445
View photo
  • 3 days ago
  • 291176

scarred-and-silent:

everywordinexistence:

i miss getting party bags at the end of parties why dont we still do that party bags were the best part of the party

It was like a reward for being sociable

View text
  • 3 days ago
  • 232917
View photo
  • 4 days ago
  • 24496

nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

View text
  • 4 days ago
  • 618939
View photo
  • 4 days ago
  • 17039

bipolypesca:

thegirldetective:

beyonceforbreakfast:

mallomallo:

gloomyteens:

gloomyteens:

when you feel your clothes fresh out of the oven

image

OKAY SO I REALIZED I USED OVEN INSTEAD OF DISHWASHER BUT I KINDA FORGOT WHAT IT WAS CALLED AND USED THE NEXT BEST GUESS I COULD THINK OF

It’s called a washing machine

i think its a dryer like who would be feeling wet ass clothes

this post is a fucking train wreck

I feel a lot better about that typo I made earlier.

View text
  • 4 days ago
  • 467061
View photo
  • 4 days ago
  • 1411
View photo
  • 4 days ago
  • 162984

kakashidori:

after i got my wisdom teeth out my mouth was stuffed full of gauze and i basically passed out for hours except we were on the way to my grandfather’s house and we had to drive down the highway of tears and when we arrived my mom called because the police had phoned our house to say that a constructor had reported a man driving an suv with our license plate with a “pale, bloated, lifeless body in the front seat”

i got mistaken for a dead body

they thought my dad was a murderer

View text
  • 4 days ago
  • 132031
x